I really hope you enjoy this half as much as I did. This came from Ethel's files.
Mike
SAMUEL ALEXANDER STROUP
SAMUEL ALEXANDER "SAM" STROUP was born Dec 21, 1852, the 7th child and 3rd son of SILAS and SUSAN (HARPER) STROUP, born on their Cane Creek farm between Fairview and Fletcher, in Limestone Twp., south Buncombe County, N. C.
HIS GERMAN GRANDPARENTS
Sam's paternal grandfather, JOSEPH STROUP, called "Grandsire", was a 4th generation American of German ancestry, but SAM never knew him because he died the year before his birth. However, as a boy SAM heard much about him while visiting the Bull Creek home of his widowed grandmother, CATHERINE (CREASMAN) STROUP, whose grandfather, PHILIP CHRISTMAN, had who arrived in America from Germany as a young man in 1735, so that SAM's Grandmama STROUP spoke fluent German as well as English.
FAMILY LIFE
By the time SAM was born, his mother (nee SUSANNAH HARPER) was running a large farm household consisting of her three children from her first marriage to EPRAIM HENRY [who died on a trip to Kentucky] along with her eight STROUP children by her second marriage to SILAS STROUP, and so much of young Sam’s care fell to his older sisters KATE, MATTIE, SAMANTHA and SEREPTA, and his older brother RUFUS was "like a second father to the young 'uns". Sam’s playmate was his brother WILLIAM HENRY, called "BILLY", AND two years his junior. When SAM was four, his mother and little sister LANNIE became so desperately ill they were taken to Fairview to be nursed in the home of his HARPER grandparents who had servants to help with their care. In spite of good nursing, three-year-old LANNIE died. Eldest brother RUFUS selected a slab of soapstone from Grandfather LOT Harper’s quarry, and, with Grandfather's help, carved little LANNIE's tombstone.
SAM was six when his baby sister SUSANNAN was born, and by the time she could walk she followed the other small children as SAM, BILLY and SUE, tagged along behind their father, chattering endlessly. He was a tall, gentle, patient man who enjoyed his children so much he was somewhat inclined to spoil them, but this was quickly offset by their sharp tongued mother, who considered it her duty to see that nobody in her household, man nor boy, was a "tail-setter", and all her children learned to "jumped to their chores to avoid the back of Susan's hand."
The STROUP home bustled with activities as many people came and went, talked and worked. SILAS felled trees, RUFUS chopped wood and the smaller boys filled the wood box, picked wind-fall apples, carried water from the well, slopped the hogs, and hoed Susan’s garden patch. For recreation all the children roamed the deep woods behind their home, going up Burney Mountain to Stroup's gap, hunting wild chestnuts and persimmons.
SAM understood his peppery little mother and, being a hard and willing worker, had no problem pleasing her. However, his brother BILLY "took after" their easy going father, inherited SILAS' calm, sunny nature and as a child, he often hid, preferring play to work. The STROUP children knew their mother's HARPERS better than the their STROUP kin, because, as SILAS' grandson, PAUL CLIFTON STROUP put it:
"We never were finished with our farm chores till after sundown, so none of us on Cane Creek had much chance to visit up on Bull Creek. Although isn't very far away as the crow flies, in those days we had to circle around for miles, going up a steep road country that was usually hub-deep in mud, but it was real easy to get to Fairview to go see the HARPERS, or to the store in Fletcher in good weather, just go down Cane Creek road in one direction or the other."
TWEED'S CHAPEL METHODIST CHURCH
Regular and frequent religious observance was important part of life on the SILAS STROUP farm. Every Saturday night tubs of hot, soapy water were set in the kitchen floor near the stove, and in this washtub the children were scrubbed clean with home-made lye soap. On Sunday mornings, they were decked out in their best clothes and loaded into the family's wagon, which was driven by RUFUS. This wagon followed behind their parent's black buggy, down Cane Creek road to Tweed's Chapel Methodist Episcopal Church where SILAS and his wife had been charter members.
However, Sam HARPER grandparents were members of Cane Creek Baptist Church, and they also attended services every Sunday, but to reach their church, drove their buggy down Cane Creek road in the opposite direction, the STROUPS and HARPERS sometimes passing on the road. Often, after church services let out, the elderly LOTT HARPERS stopped at the STROUP home for Sunday dinner and an afternoon's visit with daughter SUSAN and her children.
A CHILD DURING THE CIVIL WAR
SAM was eight when the Civil War broke out, the same year, 1860, that his eighteen year old brother RUFUS married and moved to a one room cabin on the Swannanoa river. In 1861, when RUFE's young wife was expecting their first child, he was drafted into the Confederate Army. Preparing to leave, he filled a cow horn with gunpowder, fastening it to a leather strap to hang around his neck. He had just begun carving his initials onto his powder horn when called to active duty.
Six months later, SILAS STROUP received in the mail a small package from east Tennessee. It contained a letter RUFE's commanding officer saying he had died in camp of dysentery, and enclosed his powder horn, his initials still unfinished. SILAS hung it on a nail inside his bedroom closet, and nine year old SAM, wept bitterly, vowing to never forget his lost brother RUFUS.
Except for this sad experience, the Civil War had little effect on the SILAS STROUP household, probably because their forty-six year old father did not volunteer nor did he convert any of his "hard cash" into Confederate script.
Although a few troops from both armies marched along Cane Creek road, nobody stole their livestock, and, although deserters, called "bushwhackers" (both Confederate and Union) and a few renegade slaves roamed the countryside preying on farmers, SILAS, who was a noted "sharp-shooter", spread the word he was standing guard with his rifle loaded.
One day, a small contingent of Union troops marched down Cane Creek road, but "SILAS went out to the road and gave their commanding officer the Masonic 'high sign', the Union officer returned this salute, and his company passed on by." When the war ended, the SILAS STROUPS remained prosperous.
1864, DEATH OF HIS STROUP GRANDMOTHER
In 1864, when SAM was 12, his 87 year old Grandmama, CATHERINE (CREASMAN) STROUP died, and he went with the rest of his family across the mountain to attend her funeral at Berea Baptist Church where she had been a charter member, but she was buried a few miles down Bull Creek road in the older cemetery, Stroup's Chapel, built when she was a young woman, on land they owned, on a hill overlooking the creek and her husband's home place in the valley below.
BULL CREEK PROPERTY
When SAM went to Grandmama's funeral, his Aunt NANCY (STROUP) and husband, Uncle JESSE CLARK, were operating the old STROUP farm and mill on Bull Creek, and Uncle JESSE was building a large, new, two story house on part of this old STROUP property, he having been deeded this land in exchange for being Grandsire STROUP's partner in the mill.
After Grandmama's death, SAM's father inherited a different portion of this large STROUP property on Bull Creek, but, since he already owned a large farm on Cane Creek, rented out his parent's smaller house and their homestead on Parker Road, Bull Creek. Still later, in the 1870's, SAM's father and his Uncle HENRY STROUP donated several acres of their parent's old farm [including old Stroup's Chapel Baptist cemetery] to the northern Presbyterians to assist them in building a Presbyterian academy and Riceville Presbyterian Church.
BOYHOOD NICKNAME, "RED SAM"
As a child, SAM had "strawberry blonde" hair, and was called "Red SAM" , and his cousin, SAMUEL F. STROUP, who lived at Bull Creek, was called "Black Sam".
DEATHS OF HARPER GRANDPARENTS
SAM was fourteen in 1866 when SUSAN (WHITAKER) HARPER, died, and four months later LOTT HARPER. Both were buried at Cane Creek Baptist Church, their funerals attended by family members, including SAM's cousins, DAVID and PEGGY (WHITAKER) GARREN whose farm was across Cane Creek from that of SILAS STROUP.
HIS MOTHER'S INHERITANCE
Sam’s HARPER grandparents were well off financially, and their heirs divided inheritances that included a large and prosperous farm, several rental properties and a legally licensed brandy still. Sam’s mother, SUSAN HARPER STROUP, received her share of this inheritance.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
SAM bore little resemblance to his tall, rangy father, and did not inherit his tall, athletic, leptosome build, but was average height, about 5'10", with a rounded, endomorphic build. His face was not square and angular like SILAS', his being oval, with regular, refined features, but he did inherit his father's high cheekbones and "the STROUP nose" which was strongly aquiline, with a slight hump at the bridge and a small crease at the tip.
SAM also inherited "the STROUP eyes", so expressive the STROUPS were said to "talk with their eyes". His were ice blue, prominently set, and he could discipline a wayward child by a piercing stare, or delight one when the corners of his eyes crinkled with merriment.
Young SAM was neatly built, and he had hands that were unusually graceful and well shaped. When he reached manhood, his strawberry blonde hair became dark blonde, and he grew a fashionable, handlebar mustache.
SAM THE DANDY
As a young man in his late teens, SAM was strikingly handsome, and, not being any fool, he knew it. He was also quite "the dandy", a very good-looking fellow who loved being "beautifully turned out".
Since his mother was hard working and very fond of him, he also was accustomed to his clothes being neatly pressed, his dresser drawers filled with well tailored shirts that were boiled snow white, heavily starched and ironed to perfection with a sad-iron.
HIS PERSONALITY
However, SAM was not in the least lazy but hard working. He was also impatient perfectionist, and although his hair was now light brown, he still had a "red headed" temper, in disposition "taking after" his HARPER mother, a tiny, compulsive woman who thought, "anybody who sat down was lazy". However, unlike his mother, SAM also loved fun and had a good sense of humor, as did his father.
HIS BEAUTIFUL TENOR VOICE
SAM inherited his father's strong voice and love of music. "He had a magnificent tenor voice", and, like his father and brothers, he dearly loved to sing. Music was important to the STROUPS, and the entire family often sat on their front porch on summer evening, singing to the accompaniment of their Autoharp.
The powerful and excellent singing voices of the STROUP men projecting so well they were audible to their neighbors, the JOE GARRENS, who lived on a hill across from Cane Creek, so that these neighbors (who lacked any real interest in, talent for or appreciation for music) laughingly called them "the loud-mouthed STROUPS."
STUDIES AT MILLS RIVER ACADEMY
Sam’s father was one of the most prosperous farmers in south Buncombe, well able to educate his children, and, since he cared about their futures, he did so, at least for those who were interested. About 1867 SAM was enrolled at Mills River Academy, a private day school for boys, but, since Mills River was too far from Cane Creek to commute, his father boarded him with the CORPENINGS. Teenaged SAM was a student at Mills River Academy when he met his future wife CHARLOTTE JOHNSON, three years his senior, a meeting that probably occurred at church near Hendersonville.
HIS FIRST MARRIAGE
About 1874 when SAM was twenty-two, he married twenty-five year old CHARLOTTE REBECCA JOHNSON, born May 18, 1849, daughter of BRADLEY JOHNSON who had inherited a large farm near Hendersonville.
Their wedding portrait shows the bride as a trim little woman with her dark hair parted primly in the middle and pulled back into a neat bun. SAM is seated beside her, looking even younger than twenty-two, and so handsome he was almost "girlishly".
SAM and Charlotte’s marriage was quite happy. Not only was she the sweetheart of his youth, she also seems to have been the only woman (besides his mother) who ever truly loved him. CHARLOTTE is remembered as a gentle, sweet natured woman who was a good cook, a good housekeeper, a good mother to her children and an excellent helpmate and companion to her husband.
A FARMER, BUT STILL A "DANDY"
Like his mother, CHARLOTTE catered to the great personal pride SAM took in his appearance, and helped him stay fastidiously turned out, unusually so, for a farmer. "SAM STROUP, even while feeding his stock, wore a stiff-fronted white shirt and a bow-string tie."
HIS FARM ON PARKER ROAD
The young couple made their first home on Parker Road, just off of Bull Creek Road, in the same small house that had belonged to his late Grandmama STROUP, and, although SAM did not own this farm, it had been part of the land settled c 1805 by his Grandsire JOSEPH STROUP when there were still a few Indians and buffalo in the nearby woods.
SAM was twenty-five when his parents got around to deeding this farm to him. Apparently SILAS was too busy to get Asheville, so SAM's mother made the trip, on March 15, 1877 deeding 174 acres on Bull Creek, from SUSAN STROUP to SAM STROUP. The next year, 1878, SAM and his neighbor A. J. RICE, drew up deeds establishing their property lines.
NAMING THE CHILDREN
SAM and Charlotte’s first-born children were SUE LIZZIE and SALLIE. In 1878 a son was born, named "JAMES ELMO" in honor of somebody SAM admired. In 1881, SAM named his second son "CLARENCE RUFUS", announcing that "RUFUS" honored his brother, lost in the Civil War. In 1882, SAM and CHARLOTTE named a son "JOSEPH SILAS", with SAM announcing this name was in honor of his father and grandfather.
This was more than Sam’s father-in-law could bear because BRADLEY JOHNSON had no grandsons named after him. So, one day, so the family story goes, while "in his cups", he announced, "I'm going to get me a hound bitch, and raise me a litter of pups, and I'll name every damned one of them "BRADLEY!"
SAM and CHARLOTTE took the hint! They named their fourth born son "SAMUEL BRADLEY STROUP". Later, to distinguish this child from his father, they called him "SAM-BRADLEY".
LAND TRADE WITH BROTHER BILLY
At Bull Creek, SAM and his brother WILLIAM HENRY exchanged deeds in some type of land trade that suited their purposes, deed dated 3-6-1880: W. H. STROUP et al to SAMUEL A. STROUP, 100 acres of land Bull Creek; SAM A. STROUP to W. H. STROUP, 200 acres Bull Creek.
On April 28, 1884 when SAM was 32, a deed to S. A. STROUP and wife, who bought an unspecified amount of land on Bull Creek from (his cousin) MILLARD F. HEAD (son of SILAS's aunt, ELIZABETH (STROUP) HEAD).
HIS MOTHER'S DEATH
The death of Sam’s mother in 1884 was probably a great personal loss to him because she seems to have been unusually fond of him. After that, Sam’s sister SAMANTHA and husband NOAH WHITAKER, purchased SILAS' farm, and moved there, to care for SILAS in his declining years.
MOVES BACK TO CANE CREEK
In the summer of 1880 SAM moved his family to a farm across Cane Creek from his 74-year-old widowed father. On Mar. 22, 1889 SAM deeded 100 acres at Bull Creek to SOLON HOUGH, and on Aug. 9, 1889 received 72 acres at Fairview from J. S. WILLIAMS.
Although Sam’s acreage was now smaller, his new house was larger than the one at Bull Creek, and more suitable for his children, some now in their teens. Also, by moving back where he was raised, SAM hoped to receive from his sisters SAMANTHA and LINIE some help for CHARLOTTE, who wasn't well, in the care of their six children.
SAM was delighted with his new house. Like his father, he enjoyed carpentry, did it well, and added some well-rubbed, chestnut paneling to his living room, and was very proud of how beautifully it turned out.
CHARLOTTE'S LONG ILLNESS
In the spring of 1888 CHARLOTTE bore her 7th child, named DAVID, a sickly infant who lived only a few weeks. Then, CHARLOTTE, who was already sickly, became seriously ill [with what was probably cancer]. She suffered excruciating pain in an illness that lasted over the next nine months, and as a bed patient SAM tended her, their older daughters, with some help from his sisters.
HIS SISTER'S DEATH
Unfortunately, Charlotte’s was not the only illness at this time in the STROUP family, and in April 1889 Sam’s sister SEREPTA died young. She was buried at Tweed's Chapel Methodist Episcopal Church on Cane Creek road.
CHARLOTTE'S DEATH
Two months later, on June 11, 1889, the long-suffering CHARLOTTE (JOHNSON) STROUP also died, aged forty, leaving SAM a thirty-seven year old widower with six children, aged fourteen to four years. Not only was he deeply grieved at the loss of his beloved wife and sweetheart, he was completely at a loss how to look after his children, the youngest not yet in school, while running his farm to support them. Even with the part-time help from his surviving sister and his own teenaged daughters, he couldn't manage all the housework, cooking, sewing needed to keep his children together.
HIS GARREN NEIGHBORS
SAM, in his grief and distress, sat on porch of his new house looking over beautiful Cane Creek valley, the "home territory" of his boyhood. Below his house and across Cane Creek from his father's home, stood the DAVID GARREN home place, facing the trees along the creek bank, and SAM passed by this house daily, taking his younger children to his father's home place to be cared for, a walk that took him down a small lane and across DAVID GARREN's property to the small bridge his father had built across Cane Creek.
HIS MOTHER'S COUSIN PEGGY WHITAKER GARREN
When SAM STROUP moved back to Cane Creek, DAVID GARREN was 87 years old, and his wife, MARGARET "PEGGY" (WHITAKER) GARREN, was in her last illness. She was "Cousin PEGGY" to SAM, and an exceptionally sweet natured woman, who through the WHITAKERS, was second cousin to Sam’s late mother, SUSAN HARPER.
SAM had known the DAVID GARRENS from childhood, and this elderly German gentleman was the valley's wealthiest farmer. Since PEGGY had been his mother's closest neighbor, her cousin and best friend, it was natural for SAM to stop daily at this home to inquire about Cousin PEGGY, who in old age had developed epileptic seizures, so she had to be watched to avoid falls.
HIS COUSIN, ELLEN GARREN
PEGGY's spinster granddaughter, ELLEN GARREN, had been sent from her father's farm on a nearby hill to live with her grandparents, sit with PEGGY and watch her.
When SAM met ELLEN she was a small, quiet, plain woman aged 30, with blue eyes and mouse brown hair. Unfortunately, she also had almost no physical stamina, no sense of humor but an overdose of "Baptist piety and prudery".
As a child ELLEN had tried to ride a calf, and, when it threw, she landed on a rock receiving a back injury that caused a spinal curvature that made any physical activity uncomfortable. For these reasons, her father exempted her from all work, and sent her to school in Baltimore to learn fine tailoring and dressmaking. In those days all women sewed, but ELLEN GARREN was a "fancy dressmaker", able to fashion men's apparel almost as well as the town tailor.
Her mother had died young, and her easy-going father, JOE GARREN, had spoiled her. For a farm girl ELLEN led an unusually sheltered and pampered life. Her father had two Negro servants, daughters of the slave MUDGE that SILAS STROUP had sold in the 1850's to his neighbor DAVY GARREN. The GARREN home also had a white, live-in housekeeper.
Eldest daughter, ELLEN assigned duties to the younger children and the household servants, and her upbringing may be why she had an exalted opinion of herself, having been accustomed to being "looked up to" as her family's "queen bee" by her younger brothers and sisters.
SAM IS VERY SAD AND VERY LONELY
In 1889 SAM STROUP sorely missed his late wife's companionship, and he also missed the comfortable home that a good and loving wife provided. He badly wanted to replace CHARLOTTE, and, being by nature impatient, he plunged ahead full speed, without any contemplation about the various possibilities. At forty, he was still a handsome man, he owned a good farm, and many young women in the community considered him "a good catch."
HE GOES COURTING
Six months after Charlotte’s death, SAM was courting his spinster cousin ELLEN -- but with his feet planted in the clouds and his eyes closed!
His brothers and sisters were greatly displeased by his lack of attention to whether a perspective wife could cook or keep house, or, as his sister-in-law, CARRIE (DUNLAP) STROUP, put it, "Sam Stroup was so desperate for a wife he thought every GOOSE was a SWAN".
SAM PROPOSES TO HIS COUSIN
SAM proposed to ELLEN in the summer of 1890, and she, an old maid of 31 with no other prospects, eagerly accepted. His family (then and later) thought they were completely mismatched.
The only thing anybody ever saw that these two people had in common was both were immaculately clean, to the point of being downright prissy, and both of them loved being well dressed at all times. Perhaps it was Ellen’s abilities as a Baltimore trained tailor that SAM admired. She certainly had no other wifely attributes.
THEIR ENGAGEMENT
During their courtship, SAM remained blissfully ignorant that his little spinster cousin was unwilling to do anything more arduous than "sit and sew a fine seam". Her specialties were cutwork embroidered tablecloths and beaded handbags, which she sold, but at prices that barely covered the cost of her materials.
Since ELLEN also had a somewhat devious nature, so it's likely she may have misled SAM to believe she was her grandfather's cook and housekeeper. Had he but looked, he could have easily seen that DAVY GARREN’s two colored women servants were doing all the real work.
So, all through the winter of 1890, 31-year-old ELLEN dreamily sewed trousseaus for herself, along with one for her 20-year-old sister NANNIE for their double wedding, come spring.
1891 MARRIAGE
On the morning of March 4, 1891, SAM dressed for his second wedding. He had nobody to press his pants, but he carefully polished his boots, and then had his hired man carry him to his buggy to avoid muddying them.
Baptist Rev. D. B. NELSON married SAM and ELLEN in the parlor at the home of her father in a double ceremony with her sister NANCY. Witnesses were three of Ellen’s cousins, ROBERT C. CLAYTON, C. M. CLAYTON and J. E. YOUNG. They drove to Hendersonville where their wedding portrait was made in a Hendersonville studio. It shows him a head taller than his second bride, who was about five feet tall.
SAM'S HOME
SAM took ELLEN to his home on Cane Creek road, just up the road from her father's. He was very proud of his two-story frame house, and especially of his parlor with the beautiful, hand rubbed, chestnut paneling. The front of his house had a wide porch on two sides, shaded by three tall oak trees.
However, ELLEN compared it to her father's much larger, Greek revival house with white pillars across the front and a porch overlooking his private lake, and she was not impressed.
She also noticed that although SAM had a hired man to help him, he had no house servants to cook and clean for her. It was not a good beginning.
Sam’s home was a very typical farmhouse for the day, with no inside plumbing or central heat. It had the usual well out back where water was drawn up in wooden buckets and carried inside, and the only heat came from the kitchen stove or parlor fireplace. Instead of a basement, it had outbuildings: meat house, root cellar, privy and barn.
Sam’s orchard produced many fruits, including apples were so fine they were in demand by hotels some distance from Asheville.
GOOD STEP-MOTHER TO THE BOYS
ELLEN was not overjoyed with the house, was cool to her husband but endeared herself to his boys. She liked little boys, and had helped raise several younger brothers, and enjoyed sitting on Sam’s front porch, sewing and telling stories to her young stepsons.
These motherless children had clothes either outgrown or in rags, and were delighted when she made them new ones. As far as Sam’s boys were concerned, ELLEN was a wonderful step-mother, later recalling her as "very kind and good to them".
SHE COULD'T COOK
Life was quite different for Sam’s daughters. ELLEN was not fond of young girls (having had two unpleasant younger sisters), and she hated housework. Therefore, she left all the cooking and housework in the STROUP home to Sam’s daughters! As her sisters-in-law observed, she had never done housework in her life, and had no idea how lay a fire in the kitchen stove or parlor hearth. ELLEN literally "couldn't boil water without setting fire to the kettle".
The only thing that kept SAM and his children from starvation was that his eldest daughters, 16 year old SUE LIZZIE and 14 year old SALLY, were sweet, hard-working girls who had helped their late mother cook, do laundry and clean house.
However, when these two teenaged girls were in school, SAM would come in from the fields tired and hungry to find the stove unlit, no dinner started and his wife entertaining the children while doing embroidery.
Many brides burned the biscuits before learning to cook, but ELLEN was not just untrained, she was firmly opposed to learning to cook, considering all work beneath her dignity! As a farm wife she was a disaster.
ELLEN'S FIRST CHILD
After eleven months of marriage, ELLEN bore her first child, and named him GEORGE FREDERICK STROUP. FRED didn't "take after" either of his persnickety parents, and cried bitterly every time he was bathed. ELLEN quickly found mothering a squalling infant very different from entertaining older children on a shady porch.
She also found that she hated everything about motherhood, from changing diapers to wet nursing. Worse, she did not enjoy any of her wifely duties.
ELLEN WANTS SERVANTS
In the late 1880's, ELLEN wanted SAM to hire a housekeeper, and, had she been an affectionate wife, SAM, who could afford it, would surely have hired servants, and had a long, happy, second marriage.
Unfortunately, ELLEN made it perfectly clear she didn't love him, and was so cold and sanctimonious that SAM, bored and frustrated, found marriage to her worse than living alone, having lost the freedom of being single, assumed the responsibilities of marriage without any of its comforts
LIFE WITH ELLEN
ELLEN refused to attend church with her husband at Tweed's Chapel Methodist Church where he was raised, going instead with the GARRENS to Sunday church, prayer meetings and revivals, so entranced by Baptist preacher VERNON SRONCE that she named a son for him. Her religious notions did not help her marriage.
MARRIED TO A PERMANENT SPINSTER
Although SAM appreciated Ellen’s sewing for his children, his own needs were not met in this unsuitable marriage. The Victorian era was very family oriented, and "old maids" were pitied, and SAM eventually realized that 31 year old ELLEN married him merely to achieve the social status their community accorded to married women, but at heart she remaining a spinster.
ELLEN DECLARES HERSELF HIS SISTER
After the spontaneous abortion of their third child, ELLEN decided that childbearing was disagreeable and dangerous; she demanded a separate bedroom, informing SAM, "There will be no more children. We will live hereafter as brother and sister, husband and wife in name only."
A platonic relationship was not Sam’s idea of marriage, and his temper flared. She wept. He rejected her idea of living as his sister (which rejected him as a man), telling her, "I already have sisters!"
ELLEN DESERTS HIM
ELLEN sniffed, "Nobody ever spoke to me this way before!" She packed her grip, and marched down the road to the farm next door, taking her two small sons to her father's house. The GARRENS were aghast, but allowed her to stay, believing it merely a marital spat.
1900 CENSUS
When the 1900 census taker came to Cane Creek road, SAM was apparently ashamed to admit his wife had deserted him, because he gave the following information: SAMUEL A. STROUP, 47, married 10 years, wife ELLEN C., m. 10 years, 2 children.
Persons in his home: son JAMES E., 21, teacher; son CLARENCE R., 19, day laborer; son JOSEPH S., 17, farm laborer; son SAMUEL B., 15. When the census taker went next door, Sam’s father-in-law, J. R. GARREN, 62, named four of his children in his home, son ROBERT, daus BELLE 17, EULA 16 and ELLEN STROUP, 40, married 9 years with 2 children, FRED STROUP, 8 and VERNON S. STROUP 4.
SAM FILES FOR DIVORCE
Not long after this, SAM decided they were mismatched, so, instead of begging his frosty wife to come home, he rode to Asheville and divorced her on grounds of desertion. Oddly, ELLEN now considered herself "a woman scorned".
"NEVER SPEAK TO US AGAIN"
ELLEN ordered SAM, "Never, ever try to see, or speak to me or to MY two sons again!" SAM, who had other sons, replied, "Whatever you wish."
By her actions, ELLEN ruined any chance for her or her sons to receive financial help from SAM who willingly educated any of his other children who were interested.
She also changed the spelling of STROUP, adding an "E" to the end, "to separate my sons from his sons".
ELLEN WRECKS HIS REPUTATION
ELLEN was so angry when SAM went courting again that she and her sisters did everything they could to wreck his reputation, carrying this out, not by outright lies, but by insinuation. The GARREN sisters never said exactly what SAM supposedly did to "Pore ELLEN", just whispered, "It was just too awful for a lady like Sister to even mention"! Human nature being what it is, imaginations ran wild. So, for divorcing an unloving wife who deserted him, SAM STROUP the local gossips branded him "a licentious womanizer".
SALLY RICKMAN
SAM still wanted a wife, but he'd learned about the unsuitability of prissy, frigid, little spinsters, and this time chose more carefully. About 1902 at age 45, he married a young widow with two small children, SARAH "SALLY", whose late husband, JIM RICKMAN, had been ELLEN GARREN's cousin. Unfortunately, SALLY died within a year, having had no children by SAM, and her RICKMAN children were sent to their grandparents.
JOE SILAS AND CARRIE
In April 1903 Sam’s son JOE SILAS married CARRIE DUNLAP. They moved into his father's home on Cane Creek, and stayed with him about three years. Carrie’s mother, MARY DUNLAP, also lived in the SAM STROUP home after her son HALL went to Chicago.
CHRIST SCHOOL
At this time, the northern Episcopalians were building a "missionary" school at Arden aiming to convert little southern boys to their church by providing them with educational opportunities. SAM was Methodist, like his parents, but, just as his father had sent him away to a good private school, he wanted his children well educated, and so sent several of them to this new private school.
However, he wasn't one to push education on children not so inclined. His sons SAM BRADLEY and JOE SILAS wanted educations, but ELMO and CLARENCE had little interest. His estranged son FRED hated school, and his estranged son VERNON eagerly attended Christ School, but cared more about baseball than the schoolroom.
As a result, Sam’s sons with academic leanings became well educated, while those with no interest were allowed to pursue their own ideas, with a resultant disparity in life's opportunities. Another result was that several who attended Christ School converted to the "high church" Episcopalians, while SAM and his other children by Charlotte remained in Methodists.
LILLIE MAE SOUTHER YOUNG
About 1906 Sam fell blindly in love with widow, LILLIE MAE SOUTHER YOUNG, born Aug 3, 1866, daughter THOMAS & MARY (RUSSELL) SOUTHER.
LILLIE was a large boned but pretty blonde with a fun-loving personality, widow of WILLIAM HENRY YOUNG, a charming and likeable Cane Creek farmer who had not done well financially, and died without even owning his own farm.
WILLIAM Young’s death left LILLIE financially destitute with eight children. Her family had to support them until the older girl married and the older boys got jobs. When SAM courted LILLIE, c 1906, her children were BERTHA, 22, son HAILEY 20, son LOY 18, son MACK 15, dau LELA 14, dau ALLIE 12, dau MARY 9, and MARGARET 7.
As LILLIE herself said later, "I only married SAM STROUP because my family thought he was a wealthy man and a good catch"!
HER TEENAGED DAUGHTERS OPPOSE THE MARRIAGE
Once again SAM was in love with a woman wanting marry for the wrong reasons. Worse, her children, especially her daughters, were adamantly opposed to their mother's remarriage, partly because SAM was fourteen years her senior, but mainly because they couldn't bear to see anyone replace their beloved father.
LILLIE promised her four younger girls, "If you will just go along with this marriage and keep your mouths shut, you'll get a wealthy step-father who will give you anything you want, and then I will leave him!"
THE SOUTHERS
LILLIE and the SOUTHERS loved to laugh and clown, attributes that made them good company and delightful to know. She entered Sam's orbit when he was ground down by trouble, perhaps why he was drawn to her laughter like the ubiquitous moth to a flame.
THIRD MARRIAGE
SAM was very smitten in 1806 when he married LILLIE, and this is understandable to those who knew her kin, the SOUTHERS, YOUNGS and PERKINSONS, because they are warm, friendly, charming, light hearted, happy-go-lucky people who are great fun to be around.
SAM IS EAGER TO PLEASE
After their marriage, SAM doted on lively LILLIE, and did his level best to please her, providing whatever she and her children demanded. He settled her four daughters into his home, unaware that these five females meant to carry out their own pre-nuptial plan to milk him for whatever they could get and then leave.
THE YOUNGS ARE EXTRAVAGANT
That first year, Sam’s four step-daughters, LELA, ALLIE, MARY and MARGARET, who lived in his home, demanded and got fancy clothes, shoes, dresses and hats from Asheville's department stores. As soon as LILLIE and her girls were fashionably rigged out, the girls clamored for lessons in music, poetry and elocution. SAM obliged by sending them to Christ School as day pupils.
HIS FAMILY'S OPINION
Meanwhile, Sam’s family watched in tight-lipped silence. His sisters and sisters-in-law murmured in private about his inability to tell "a SWAN from a TURKEY".
They considered LILLIE as unsuitable as wife ELLEN, since neither of them loved him nor carried out the duties of a farm wife, but they hoped for the best since LILLIE had an affectionate disposition.
SAM BRADLEY CALLS A HALT
Within the year the extravagances of the step-daughters were more than his son SAM BRADLAY could endure in silence. He was attending Christ School on a part scholarship, as was his brother JOE SILAS, and both were working hard to help pay their tuition and board.
Quite naturally, SAM BRADLEY was upset to see his father squandering money on demanding and ungrateful stepchildren, and told him flatly, "Daddy, you're making a pure fool of yourself!" SAM was furious and they quarreled.
In Sept. 1906, when Sam BRADLEY went to Chapel Hill to attend the University of North Carolina, he wasn't speaking to his father.
SAM CLOSES HIS PURSE
SAM doted on LILLIE but was not a complete fool, so, after he cooled down, and gave the matter some thought, he decided SAM Bradley’s point was well taken, so that the very next time his wife and her daughters came to him with their hands out, he announced firmly, "Your personal bank just closed."
On hearing this, LILLIE and her girls left his house in a huff and moved to Asheville where she filed for divorce and her children announced to anybody who would listen, "SAM STROUP wasn’t nearly as rich as we were led to believe!"
LILLIE was equally outspoken, and told Sam’s daughter-in-law, CARRIE STROUP, "I only married him for his wealth, and then found out he had deeded his real property to his children by his first wife!"
When LILLIE asked SAM for a house in town, and he bought her one: Deed 1-16-1909 LILLIE M. YOUNG from James M. Nipe, Gaston St.
LILLY'S GIRLS
How bitterly the YOUNG girls resented Sam’s replacing their father became obvious when they did everything in their power to keep their mother away from SAM, and for the next few years, LILLIE vacillated between her daughters and her husband. This marriage might have survived if her children not been adamantly opposed even before the ceremony took place, or if they had relented afterward.
LILLIE MOVES BACK AND FORTH
SAM and LILLIE remarried, and in 1907 they had a son, naming him WILLIAM, but before he was out of diapers, her daughters persuaded her to leave SAM, move to Asheville and stay with them.
SAM begged LILLIE to come back, and she moved back to Cane Creek, and they remarried. Once again her daughters interfered, and persuaded her to come to Asheville "where life is easier than on the farm".
Once LILLIE left SAM, and when she asked for another house, he bought it: Deed 4-6-1910, LILLIE M. STROUP from HARLEY R. YOUNG on Gaston St., Asheville.
In spite of shamelessly using him, LILLIE apparently had some real affection for SAM, as shown by her going back to him several times over her daughter's objections. When she became pregnant a second time, her daughters persuaded her to move to Asheville, where she gave birth to a son in April 1912.
One indication that LILLIE cared more for her husband than her predecessor, ELLEN, was she let SAM name his sons. He named the last one "RUFUS", for his late brother. (He already had a son "CLARENCE RUFUS", but he preferred being called "CLARENCE").
LILLIE'S DEATH
Three months after giving birth, Lillie developed pneumonia and died in Asheville June 9, 1912. Sam paid for her funeral at the church of her choice, Old Salem Baptist, and erected a stone to: "Lillie, Beloved Wife of Samuel A. Stroup". Her daughters removed it and erected one to: "Lillie, Beloved Wife of William H. Young".
On Sept. 23, 1912, Sam A. Stroup deeded the house on Gaston Street to his stepdaughter Lois Pryor as part payment for the Young’s caring for his infant son Rufus. Lillie's daughters were raising little Rufus in Asheville, but allowed him occasional visits to his father who was sending them support money.
WIDOWER SAM
Sam gave up on trying to replace the love and companionship he once had with Charlotte, and live the rest of his life alone on his farm. Although he kept his fine head of hair, it and his mustache turned snow white. Even in his sixties he was a fine looking man with laugh lines around his twinkling blue eyes.
TRIPS TO TOWN
About 1913, Sam's son Joe Silas and wife Carrie (Dunlap) Stroup again came to stay with Sam to "see after him". Carrie was amused by his fastidiousness ways such as always keeping clean handkerchiefs in his pocket to wipe his mouth and mustache.
Even in his sixties Sam enjoyed getting dressed in his Sunday best and driving his buggy into Asheville to visit with men friends of note, and staying in town to have lunch and dinner with them at the new Langren Hotel on North Main street.
After wiping his mustache in the hotel dining room, he would absent-mindedly stuff the napkin into his pocket as he did his handkerchief at home. Whenever Carrie found an inadvertently purloined hotel napkin, she would launder it, and make him return it to the Langren on his next trip to town.
LAST YEARS
In the last six years of his life, Sam lived quietly on his farm, helped by a hired man. His son William stayed with him part of the time, but was sent back to his uncle in Hendersonville when school was in session.
His grandson Thomas Bradley Stroup remembered: "He had eyes exactly like your father's (Sam's son Vernon). He was an excellent farmer, very industrious, ahead of his time in raising apples. And, of course, was to me a fond grandparent.
"His own voice was magnificent. He taught me to sing. He taught me the alphabet, read to me the story of the Bible, etc. In spite of all his marital troubles, he was a devoutly religious man. I remember him coming every Sunday to the chapel at Christ School, regularly making his Sunday Communion”.
"My Uncle Sam, the youngest of Charlotte's children, the Episcopal minister, disapproved of his marital affairs or divorces as did all the other children. Indeed, he was alienated from Granddad altogether after the last marriage, that to Lily.
There were also visits from his older children who had married and moved away. It isn't known if his son Rev. Sam ever came to visit or if they remained estranged, although Rev. Sam wrote many years later that he regretted having been judgmental of his father.
SON WILLIAM
Sam's eldest son by Lillie, William Henry Stroup, was born July 13, 1908. After his mother died in 1912, four-year-old William was taken to the home of his half-brother Joe Silas Stroup, at Hendersonville to be raised and go to school.
William grew into a handsome, blonde boy with Lillie's large frame and her lively, exuberant personality. He was by nature a very lively boy, always laughing and clowning.
In 1918, the last year of Sam's life, his son William was 10, but large for his age and a great, strapping boy, built like the Southers. He was the light of Sam's declining years.
HIS DEATH
In 1918 when SAM was in his last illness with chronic nephritis and was alone, three of his grandchildren came and sat with him at his home, then took him to Hendersonville hospital where he died on July 10, 1918.
He was buried at Shaw's Creek Methodist Church Campground cemetery beside his only good wife, CHARLOTTE. His final estate settlement was in 1921 when a deed was filed giving his home place to his eldest child: Samuel A. Stroup to Susan Toms, 97 acres, Cane Creek.
